hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
