i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I came so hard my ears popped.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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