based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
