We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
