I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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