you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
