my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
