She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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