you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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