Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
