I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
