boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize