He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.