I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.