So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon