OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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