I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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