it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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