A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
