NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She bit a glass in half.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
