But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think I sprained my soul last night
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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