is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I look better un-naked...
Barsexuality is the new black.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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