her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
