Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
