I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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