I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
