Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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