hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
it glows. i had to have it.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
