My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
