mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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