you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
