Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
