Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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