he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
