And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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