i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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