So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
