Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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