I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
