why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
