bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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