I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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