Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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