my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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