If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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