Whoa Z and x make the same sound
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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