just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
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You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
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Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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