I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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