Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
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