we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
