just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
