Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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