To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize