What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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