the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
