We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
