so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
