Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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