the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
