Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Four minutes until I can fart!
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Congratulations! We have a period
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