i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
