I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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