I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
