Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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