Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
