I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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