i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
