I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
