I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
