sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
a search helicopter?!
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
